Meet The Parents Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or Ben Stiller movie
Meet the Parents () Goofs on IMDb: Mistakes, Errors in geography, The position of Pam's left arm when she and Greg are dancing at the wedding party. At the breakfast scene when Greg is in his pajamas, he is talking and holding a . Prince Andrew had ribbed him during a "classic father-of-the-bride" speech, the Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank's royal wedding, in pictures . "It was a fun meeting as well because I don't think it's every day you have a meeting about .. The scene at St George's Chapel was set once more for a. Meet the Parents is a American comedy written by Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg and After Debbie's wedding, Jack views footage of Greg recorded by hidden cameras that he had placed strategically around the house. In this scene, Greg attempts to recite a prayer by improvising and, in doing so, launches into a.
I thought we were going to Kevin's house. This is Kevin's new house. Oh, this is a crazy house. Not bad, huh, Dad? Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes. People do that nowadays. Honey, this kid has been lying to us from the moment we met him. Get in some quality time with the boys? Uh-huh, yeah, it was fun. Listen, I hope this lunch isn't too weird for you. Q at Best Man's" be weird? I was sure I told you.
Kevin is Bob's best man. This is his place. How does he know Bob? I was really lucky I was able to salvage this wood Kevin, the house is amazing. This is where Maybe you should have gotten married here. All right, the sun is out, the grill is hot and the pool is luke.
If I can interest you in a swim and a little B. Q, just follow me. It must cost a fortune to heat this place. I don't know why I thought you knew. It-- It's not a big deal. If I can handle a weekend without sex and cigarettes, I think I can handle an afternoon with your ex-fianc?meet the parents funny dinner shizutetsu.info4
Now, for the floor that you're walking on, I chose this Bolivian wormwood. I think it works well in here.
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I have the Viking range here and the twin Sub-Z's. Yeah, they open up right there. Oh, I get it. Yeah, kind of blend in. Are you a homeowner, Greg? No, no, I rent. So, things are going real, real well for you, aren't they, eh, Kevo?
Gosh, things have been going so great lately. I got in early on some wireless I.
What line of work are you in? There are a lot of Benjamins to be made now with biotech stuff. I don't have to tell you that. You gotta strike while the iron's hot. That's great to give something back like that. I'd love to find time to do volunteer work. Just the other day I saw this golden retriever that-- He had like a gimp, and he couldn't really-- It made me feel terrible. I wish there was something I could do. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good too.
So it's kind of an everybody wins. What are you-- You're like a Wall Street trader? I mean, I'm willing to be painted with that brush. Yes, that's my day job. We got time, don't we, Jack? I want to show you what I'm really interested in. It looks like somebody got an "A" in wood shop. I whittled that out of beech wood. So what got you into, uh, "carpentering"? He was a carpenter, and I just figured if you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ?
You're in good company.
Meet the Parents () - Meet the Parents () - User Reviews - IMDb
Well, I'm gonna head to the pool, but why don't you show Greg and Pam the gift? I put a fresh coat of lacquer on this this morning, so bear with me with the fumes. The little holes are for candles. And then later, they'll collect rainfall. Or you might call it a "ho-puh. I'm gonna take it over to the Byrneses', and tomorrow Robert and Debra will meet beneath it to become man and wife. And later, when they purchase a home, maybe it will grace their garden.
Well, that's my sappy, romantic idea. No, not too bad. Which isn't bad, considering I carved it all by hand from one piece of wood. Time to start the barbecue, big guy.
I better get back to playing host. Okay, you guys, grab your suits, and I'll meet you down at the pool. I don't even have a suit with me. The airline lost my bag and-- [Jack] Pamcake, let's go. Mom's got your suit here. You better get going. And, by the way, she just had the nicest things to say about you. Yeah, we had some good times together.
Boy, she is a tomcat. So, let me hook you up with some trunks, Gregger. I'm not gonna swim. I'm not taking no for an answer. What's it gonna be? Ah-- How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog? I think they call that "the munchies. Hit the ball, Kev! Show 'em what you got! You gotta rush the net on defense.
Don't be afraid of the ball. Greg is afraid of the ball. We're gettin' cold in here. If Florence Nightingale over here would play defense. Larry, keep floatin' where you are. Denny, take the deep shots. Greg, nobody's expecting much out of you. I'd have to be pretty high, but yeah. I bet you would, Panama Red. You gotta spike those, Focker!
You gotta spike those! Fire it up there, Focker! It's only a game, Focker! Deb, you can totally see Voit backwards on your forehead. Go over the song selection with Bob. Are you a Mr. You go through it, make sure it's all there? I just wanna make sure you're okay since hitting the spike heard 'round the world.
I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what got into me, Iceman. Is that a special thing Stop it. Top Gun was a very popular movie when Kevin and I dated. Do you want to be Maverick? Is that what this is all about? I can't be Maverick. He used to be, but we can change that. Um, can he be Goose? No, because Goose dies in the end.
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Honey, I don't really-- Greg, shut up. Jesus, Dad, you ever think of knocking? Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here? I'd say rounding - This is Greg's room, Dad.
We're gonna use it for storage. Greg will stay in Debbie's room, and she'll bunk up with you tonight. I'll be right up. They found your suitcase. Hey, Jack, I don't quite know what happened back at the tux shop, but if I've given you the wrong impression regarding Pam in any way, I'm sorry.
I have nothing but the best intentions with Pam, and I-I just-- Actually, there's something in the suitcase here that I'm planning on giving her Did you flush this toilet?
Maybe Jinx flushed it. I saw little Jinxy come in last night, and he took a little squat and relieved himself. Jinx knows not to use that toilet, and even if he did, he'd never flush it. You're really on a roll there, bud.
In hours, I'm having a wedding here, so I need my cesspool pumped now! That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den, so the septic tank is overflowing. Jack, I told you. Focker, I'm not gonna tell you again! Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat, for chris sakes! The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker.
Over by the tree, right? Not on the lawn! Stay where you are. I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you Oh-- I know that's what I said I wanted, 'cause that's what I wanted. It is a black Samsonite suitcase. What I'm saying is, do you think it's possible that the Samsonite people, in some crazy little scheme to actually turn a profit, made more than one?
I am going to need your baggage claim number again. Could I talk to your supervisor? When he gets back, have him give me a call right away. It's a very important bag. I'm sure it is, sir. Don't ask me what it's for. I need you to do this thing. Please, I'm in a time situation here, so just do it. So the name's "Greg Focker"? Greg didn't ace his med school boards. He never even took the goddamn MCATs. Oh, Jack, that's what you had your sources check out?
What this poor boy did on some test scores? I bet he doesn't even have a real nursing degree. A lot of these hospital workers are just pill poppers looking for easy access to ludes. We already know that he's been puffin' the magic dragon. I knew the little crack was lying. Come here, little Jinxy. He did not lie to me, Dad. He lied to you when I thought you should know the truth.
I love you too much to see you get hurt. I don't care what your information says, Dad. Greg took the MCATs. All right, stand back. Somebody call right away! We checked every yard, every car on the street. He's not up in any of the trees, Jack. We checked all the bedrooms. Jinx isn't up here. Yeah, none of the neighbors have seen him either. You tried to milk him, didn't you, you sick son of a bitch!
Honey, please calm down. How can I calm down What do you mean, "the ring bearer"? Your daddy didn't tell you? He taught Jinx to walk down the aisle with this little pillow. No, you didn't, Dad. You put this around the neck, and these ribbons are for the rings. Oh, for Chris sakes! Yeah, but now we have to postpone the rehearsal. Bob, you ride with me. Larry, you come with your car. We're gonna canvass the neighborhood.
Dee, ask O'Boyle to wait. If we're not back in an hour, we'll reschedule the rehearsal for the morning. We cannot cancel the rehearsal for some stupid cat! How could you say that? That cat's been like a brother to you! We're supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet? You're gonna fill in as the ring bearer for now. I'm not wearin' that stupid pillow thing on my head.
You just go and wander the streets without food, water or toilet? They brought in a Himalayan a little while ago. Uh, no, let me see that photo again. You gotta picture him without that stupid Santa cap. You see, in the picture, your cat has an all-black tail. And this one has a white tip. No, I'm sorry about that, chief. Looks just like him. Except for that tail. Robert Banks-- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this beautiful day Robert Banks and Debra Byrnes in holy matrimony.
This is a special day-- He found him! Look, Dad, it's Jinx. Oh, my little baby! Greg, thank you so much. This is so great. Gave us a little scare, huh? Oh For once in my life I got someone who needs me To Greg. He's in the restroom. Yes, I tried there. I've tried every shelter on the north shore, okay? He's a brown-and-black Himalayan with an all-black tail. I'll call you back. Had to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy. I'm just glad I could help out.
We never did get to finish that little "convo" back at the den. So, when you have a minute, there is still something I'd like to talk to you about. We'll get right to it as soon as we get back. You have my word. I'm gonna hold you to that. Guess who's back in the circle of trust. Maybe I should ask him to dance. What do you think? I bet he could, uh, whittle a private little dance floor for the two of you. I saw some beech wood outside.
I shouldn't paint him with that brush, but-- Come on. Part of you wishes you ended up with him. Yes, he's very talented, but it would've never worked out.
I was never in love with Kevin. I'm in love with you. That's a good explanation. Thought you'd like that. I called you like half an hour ago. Okay, I already-- I already described it. Uh, it's, uh-- It's brown It's Hank MacAtee from next door. You'll never guess who wandered over here this afternoon. Yeah, he's not wearing his collar, but, uh, I'm sure it's Jinxy. Thought you might be worried, so just give me a jingle when you guys get home, and I'll bring the little rascal over. Okay, well, if you could just keep checking, please, and I'll call you back later.
No, they're still looking. Hey, Jack, this is a great party. I guess sometimes these things sort of come together in their own kooky sort of way. Yeah, it's kind of like the way you found Jinxy. You know, there's something about that ball of fur You haven't seen any of his latest tricks, have you? Well, when we get back, I'll show you. We don't have to do it tonight. He's had a long day. I wouldn't want to-- No, I think he'd like to show you tonight. Why don't you give me the key and let me drive?
Why don't I drive? It's a very expensive car. I've always wanted to test-drive a Benz. Be my guest, Focker. Get in the car, honey. Get your seat belts on. Focker, Benz drives like a dream, Lar. Yeah, just trying to make good time. What the heck is the matter with you? We're gonna be home. We're gonna get home.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's not the autobahn. You were supposed to make that left at the light, Focker. Who gave him the keys? Yeah, we've had enough excitement. It was the cat! Jinx, I'm gonna-- - [Shrieking] - Calm down! Cat got out, Jack! Greg, what's he talking about?
Hank MacAtee called me a couple of hours ago and told me he found Jinxy. He took his collar and put it on an impostor. Then he spray-painted his tail, and then he tried to beat us back here Please tell me that's not true, Greg. It was just a temporary solution until I could find the real Jinx. That you set Kevin's altar on fire?
Well, it wasn't intentional. I was chasing Jinx up onto the roof. I had a smoke, and I think I might have lit something that-- I don't know what happened. He put so much goddamn lacquer on that thing. It was an accident waiting to happen. This is very disappointing, Greg. Get out of my house, Focker, and take your friend with you.
So you lied to me about everything, huh, Greg? You lied about the cat, about the fire, about the MCATs. I didn't lie about the MCATs. Don't you see what's happening here? You did that to yourself. You didn't like me from the second I walked in here. I'm a very accepting person, Focker.
All I ask for is honesty. You wanna talk about truth and honesty, Jack? Okay, let's talk a little truth and honesty.
Let's talk a little "Operation Ko Samui," Jack. What's he talking about, Dad? Yeah, that's weird, 'cause I thought there weren't any secrets I don't know what you're talking about.
Cat got your tongue? Hey, Pam, guess what. Daddy's planning a little covert operation in Thailand for the day after the wedding. Round and round we go, Jack. I bet everybody would love to hear about your rendezvous You know what I'm talking about. Where the guy gave you the passports and the documents. Or how about your little phone call in Thai?
Meet the Parents () - Goofs - IMDb
Jack can talk Thai. Jack talk Thai very well. I'm sorry, Pam, but your dad is not retired. He's still very much in the C. You stupid son of a bitch!
You just blew it! Ko Samui is an island off the coast of Thailand! That guy I was meeting in the parking lot is Thor Svenson, my travel agent. Thanks a lot, J. I just, um-- You know, if this nursing thing doesn't work out, Focker, I'd say you definitely have a career in espionage. Well, I guess I'm gonna go to the airport now.
I guess you're gonna stay here. Pam, l-- - Gaylord M. That's not what it says on the form. It's my legal name. Nobody's called me by it since I was in third grade. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So your name's Gay Focker? It's just it's not [Laughing] Come on. Now look what you've done. Would you want me to book you the seat? Did you want to check any bags today? We should be all right with only one usher, don't you think?
The name was used at intervals throughout the film to get cheap laughs in a way that was more suited to the "Carry on" films. It wouldn't be worth mentioning, except that so many scenes in the film seemed to rely on it for laughs even before his 1st name was revealed to be "Gaylord". Although one or two of the set-pieces were funny, every single one of them was telegraphed way ahead. And so on and so on - you get the picture? All we were missing was Greg leaving a rake for someone to step on and wack themselves in the eye Imagine a comedy that combines the intelligence and sophistication of "Frasier" or the "Phil Silvers Show" with the slapstick of the Marx Brothers - well you ain't imagining this film.
The only low gag they missed was not having the Thai honeymoon destination being Phuket! This was a film that intermittently promised to develop into something good De Niro's poem to his dead mother for instanceand the cast did their best with thin material. In the end though it couldn't build on it's few bright spots - it could have been much, much better with a bit more effort. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Co-writers Greg Glienna and Mary Ruth Clarke, along with director Jay Roach, have managed to make a film that is often laugh-out-loud hilarious without ever becoming overbearing or obnoxious, the style of choice for far too many other comedies made in this day and age. Although the film overflows with madcap situations and even outright slapstick at times, these comic elements are always tethered to the reality of the premise and to the emotional states of the characters involved.
She ultimately lost the role to Teri Polo because the filmmakers "didn't think [Watts] was sexy enough". Jinx the cat was played by two five-year-old Himalayan cats named Bailey and Misha sometimes written as Meesha .
The American Humane Association oversaw the filming of all scenes where the cats were used and ensured the animals' obedience and well-being by keeping two trainers and a veterinarian on set at all times. The name was written into the script after Jim Carrey came up with the idea for the Focker surname during a creative session held before he abandoned the project.
The filmmakers were asked if they had made up the name or if they can prove that such a name exists. The aspect ratio is 1. English language audio tracks available with the film are a 5. Additionally, English language subtitles are provided as well. The director discusses issues that include working with the cast, utilizing the best camera angles for comedic effect, discussing scenes that were improvised and scenes that were scripted, and commenting on issues surrounding shooting on location.
The editor speaks about putting together the best functioning comedy from material that was filmed and discusses some deleted scenes that were excluded from the DVD release.