How authors Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have found a new (quieter) way to When I mentioned it to Hugh, my own husband—who in 22 years of marriage has never once "The number one myth about relationships is that talking helps. How to Improve Your Relationship With Your Spouse. Marriage is the ultimate bond between two partners. You made a vow to love one another for better or for . For any man who's a husband, there's a good chance you've upset your wife at some point. For some of you, it was just this morning. And at.
If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we might not have reached what I call the danger zone. Take care of your appearance. With many years and a few kids under your belt, it's easy to let your appearance slide.
Think about when you first met your partner.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today
Would you have walked around in stained sweatpants and without brushing your teeth? My guess is no. I'm not saying you have to look like Julianne Moore every time you settle in for a night of TV.
Sometimes my husband will say "wow, you look nice" as I'm walking out the door for a girls' night out. At least pay your spouse the same courtesy you do your friends by fixing yourself up for him or her every once in awhile.
Foster relationships outside your marriage. I've been going on girls' trips for as long as I've been married.
Yes, I love traipsing off with my spouse and three kids.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today | HuffPost
But these weekends away with friends are also important. Swapping stories with others and enjoying new experiences make me -- I hope -- a more interesting person for my spouse to be around. When Katie Couric asked Barbra Streisand the secret to her happy year marriage to James Brolin, she replied "time apart. Your marriage should be your primary relationship -- but it needn't be the only one. There are many things you should never say to a longtime spouse, the first being: It's also never a good idea to start a sentence with: We hopefully all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone you love point out a failing in this way does little to engender a loving relationship.
Neither of these is true. If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. Put away the jumper cables yourself.
In life, there are big things and there are little things. The big things -- draining the bank accounts to support a gambling habit, forgetting to mention that he's in the federal witness relocation program living under a false identity or that he has a second family stashed in Queens -- are of course one-way streets to divorce court.
But most of us don't have problems of that magnitude. Most of us have problems that are more like petty and repeated annoyances, which when fed the steroids of resentment and anger, balloon up like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And we all know what steroids did to his heartright? Most of our problems start out small enough -- he borrows the jumper cables from your car and then leaves them sitting in the driveway just waiting to get run over -- and from that sprouts a giant festering sore.
It leads you to utter words like, "If you loved me you would have put the jumper cables back in my car so that when I get stuck in a bad neighborhood with a dead battery I could save myself," which, in my household, generally results in a reply like "When do you ever drive in bad neighborhoods? For a happier marriage, address them right away and keep it simple. Sometimes the best way to address a problem is to just walk away from it -- as in seriously let it go. Not every slight must be addressed.
Know that not every insult is intended. Practice letting go as much as you can.
Bite your tongue until the tip bleeds. And once in a while, remind yourself of why you married this person. Focus on those reasons and let stuff pass without mention. The trick to successful silence, however, is that you really let the problem pass. If you stay silent and still harbor bad thoughts, well, that's where ulcers come from.
As the Beatles told us, "Let It Be. Relationships aren't flat-lined; that's death, actually. Life has ups and downs, peaks and valleys. We all go through periods where the mere thought of life without our partners can bring tears to our eyes and then a week later we can't stand the sound of their breathing next to us. We've all been there. The trick is knowing that you won't stay in either place forever. Truth is, in a marriage, you spend most of your time in an emotional middle ground.
She'll be forever grateful and feel closer to you when you're able to "speak her language", as a result. But prioritizing does mean that every decision you make about your life i. Still be true to yourself, but also be aware of the deeper consequences your choices will have before you act on them.
In marriage, the only things that are his and hers separately are the wedding rings. Life stresses, mental health challenges, substance abuse issues, financial stresses, difficult kids, etc. So communicate your struggles and challenges openly with your wife, so that you both can face them head on as team. After all, with unity comes power. Date her all over again.How to keep a LONG & STRONG relationship
Keep your spark — and her passion and admiration for you — alive by continuing to court her long after your wedding date.
Just like you have passion for your favorite sports team or favorite video game, show some passion about being a great husband. Fight for the relationship. Wives like to feel desired and needed, even when they are upset about the marriage.
Instead, a great husband fights harder to make the marriage work. You can choose to be passive, aggressive, or assertive — and being assertive is the key to marital success. The passive guy is the one that feels he has no voice in the marriage, makes no decisions, and goes along with every decision his wife makes. The aggressive guy is the one that speaks too much and too harshly, intimidates his spouse, and makes it hard for his spouse to make a decision. And the assertive guy is the one that is confident, communicates effectively with his spouse, and respects their differences of opinions.
This approach to your relationship is the way to go. The others will only lead to cracks in your marriage's foundation. Just be able to laugh at yourself, laugh at life, and laugh with your wife. Some examples of moments to show appreciation include after she cooks a meal, spends quality time with you, goes grocery shopping, or when she wakes up with the crying baby in the middle of the night.
These little gestures go a long way in maintaining long-term happiness. Compliment her often, genuinely, and unconditionally. Compliments are both a form of appreciation and a form of admiration.
Allow your wife's sense of beauty and value to you to be influenced by your verbal expressions. Make this a part of your daily routine. Every person on this planet could use a little feel-good compliment to brighten their day. And by sharing your love with her in this way, she's likely to return the favor.